Friday, 26 March 2010

AoC: Comedy in Conan

Most games overtly try to make you smile. "Time is money", grumble the goblins in WoW while the Ratonga in EQ2 squeal if they get their pawsie-wawsies dirty.

Age of Conan is a grim bloody world of betrayal and adult-themed moral uncertainty. And it is quite, quite, hilarious.

I was in Old Tarantia last night and a friend told me to come quick and see a character outside the tradepost. I ran over and saw a sinister figure, a lich with a cadaverous fleshless mien.

After we'd been gawping at him for a couple of minutes he unleashed his terible ire in a punishment worthy of legend.

He peed on me.

The piss emote in Conan was controvertially removed just after launch. I guess they felt it would be too traumatic for noobs to have 40 goons peeing on them at the ress point.

Clearly though GMs can still do it.

Here's a picture from the golden glory days when players could still light the darkness:

Here is a NPC model showing the correct way to process excess beer. Best MMO emote ever!

Other wonderful emotes include /emote fart (a white-knuckle clenched-teeth strainer) and /emote hugefish. The emotes are funnier because the game's look and feel is so grim and teutonic.

In addition to pissing ourselves laughing about that the game just lures you into laughing at it as it takes itself so seriously. Playing my Bear Shaman got us to produce a stream of puns, most of them unbearable. It's a shame, mon.

Bear with me.

I guess it's lucky I didn't play my ToS.

For our next adventure we are off to the Egyptian themed province of Khopshef where the friend I play with has already got himself in trouble with the local Cock Handler after he innocently spanked his cock. A cock in AoC gives one point of guild renown. It also gets you pulverised into a small bloody heap, some men are very sensitive about their cocks.

To spellchecker: pawsie-wawsies is a perfectly good word. Sod off.

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