If obstinacy is the incest-made cousin of stupidity I participated in a cracker.
It was normal Deadmines and I was boldly tanking with my level 17 Paladin. With such high stakes, drama would seem inevitable and it duly ensued.
We killed the first boss and he dropped a shield with Strength and Stamina on. I rolled Need and so did one of the dps, a Warrior. I won but pedant that I am I voiced the opinion that dps should not Need on tank loot. No reply.
Onwards boldly onwards we trod, vanquishing the second boss with me casually checking the vote kick timer as we went and one of our dps heading off to pastures new when he won the resultant staff. The Foereaper 5000 having been so expertly despatched I initiated a vote kick for "Ninjaing tank loot" (Unusually direct for me I usually get people kicked for "molesting gerbils" or "playing one-handed"). It failed so I waited a moment and tried again, this time suggesting that he had been cruel to parrots. It failed again.
A party member pointed out that the offending Warrior was his nephew. I valiantly stood my ground explaining that it was poor form to queue as a dps, play as dps and need on tank loot. I realise this is a debatable point but debatable points are there to be debated and this was my way of debating it. I consider myself a master debator and have in fact been called something very similar to "master debator" on a number of occasions.
Adamant as they were that little Yakaz, bless his cotton hooves, was not to be kicked I suggested they kick me instead then. They indignantly told me to leave rather than make any such concession, for some people the delicate art of negotiation is a foreign and strange art. It was suggested that people like me are ruining WoW. I refuted this, saying that ordinarily I am a pleasure to play with and that I was merely responding to an attempt to ninja tank loot.
They pressed on with 3 people after I had Declined to recruit a replacement dps for the person who left. They defiantly bragged that Yakaz could tank, they didn't need me.
They died. Repeatedly. Amusingly the Priest admitted to not having learned the Ress spell yet. In the spirit of making them aware of what might have been I pointed out that I had learned my Ress spell. Smugly.
They then proceeded to entertain me by wiping or partially wiping on every trash pack. In the course of this they generated two greens which I was able to Need unopposed, while crowing about my new acquisition each time.
Becoming frustrated the uncle attempted dialogue again. He asked why I hadn't left yet. I replied I'm having enormous fun and I'm getting free greens while playing Eve on the other computer. Why would I leave? He replied that he's having the most fun he has had all day. I suggested that I might contribute such an entertaining and amusing incident to the annals of the Something Awful forums. Not to be out-done he declared an intention to lambast me on the WoW EU forums. Good stuff, see what fun these little spats can be everyone?
They wiped another couple of times and alas I fear, the sense of fun may have withered on the vine. He rather testily told me I was a child, acting like this because of an 11 year old needing on lowbie stuff. I forbore to say something snippy about the irony of using the word "child" as an insult while playing with his 11 year old nephew and instead replied:
"It's actually mature to teach children the correct way to behave towards other people."
"which I guess you haven't realised yet."
Him: "u r so lame"
Me: "I'm awesome."
Me: "You said yourself it's the most fun you've had all day."
At this point he called me a noob and him and his nephew left. With just me and the healer remaining I asked if he wanted to finish and I promised to play properly. We got 3 random dps - or wait, perhaps not so random. Although the uncle had been kept away by the karmic gods of battlenet the nephew was one of our dps.
We finished the run flawlessly and Ripsnarl dropped a blue one hander. I Needed and the nephew, a prot warrior, rolled last. I awaited his roll with some interest it truly would have been poetic had he Needed and won. Instead he actually passed and I got it which I thought showed considerable class and I hope in my small way I contributed to that exemplary behaviour. The Karmic forces of Bnet had not finished toying with us however because then we killed Cookie, he dropped a one hander for which I passed and my new protege Needed and won.
In the words of the immortal George Formby: it's turned out nice again int it?